It's as if all she's ever known is pain. The pain of fire licking her skin. The pain of loss so deep that it's like a stab to the heart. Her entire body, her entire world is pain.
Pain. It's all she knows. It's all she deserves to know.
Then suddenly it stops. It's all gone as if it's never even been there. She feels groggy as she sits up on the table, confused and lost. All the physical pain is still there but the mental pain... That's harder. There's still a deep ache in her heart, a pain that threatens to tear her from the inside out. A name dances on the tip of her tongue (Prim), or would if she dared to speak. But speaking, that's not something she does anymore. Right?
Wrong. Those memories are wrong. She hadn't been on fire. She hadn't woken to the news of her sister's death. She never had to fight Peeta to gain some semblance of his sanity so that she doesn't lose him to the lizard mutts, too. They're a glitch. That's what the video says. It's a glitch and life is normal. There is no pain.
Just to make certain, she watches the video again. And again. And again. Katniss wants to believe. She wants to believe so badly because the memories in her glitch hurt. They hurt so much and she wants them gone. She's a citizen of Alpha Complex. She has a purpose.
But it doesn't take long for that purpose to unravel. For an accusation to be made that makes her remember other things (mockingjays, arrows, fires, rebellion, golden parachutes exploding in the hands of children). Traitor. Is she?
It's strange. Talking is strange. Still, she manages to utter a handful of words. "I'm not," she insists to anyone who will listen. There's a fire in her voice that's more reminiscent of the girl that she used to to be. "I'm not a traitor. I'm ."
Katniss Everdeen | The Hunger Games
Her entire world is pain.
It's as if all she's ever known is pain. The pain of fire licking her skin. The pain of loss so deep that it's like a stab to the heart. Her entire body, her entire world is pain.
Pain. It's all she knows. It's all she deserves to know.
Then suddenly it stops. It's all gone as if it's never even been there. She feels groggy as she sits up on the table, confused and lost. All the physical pain is still there but the mental pain... That's harder. There's still a deep ache in her heart, a pain that threatens to tear her from the inside out. A name dances on the tip of her tongue (Prim), or would if she dared to speak. But speaking, that's not something she does anymore. Right?
Wrong. Those memories are wrong. She hadn't been on fire. She hadn't woken to the news of her sister's death. She never had to fight Peeta to gain some semblance of his sanity so that she doesn't lose him to the lizard mutts, too. They're a glitch. That's what the video says. It's a glitch and life is normal. There is no pain.
Just to make certain, she watches the video again. And again. And again. Katniss wants to believe. She wants to believe so badly because the memories in her glitch hurt. They hurt so much and she wants them gone. She's a citizen of Alpha Complex. She has a purpose.
But it doesn't take long for that purpose to unravel. For an accusation to be made that makes her remember other things (mockingjays, arrows, fires, rebellion, golden parachutes exploding in the hands of children). Traitor. Is she?
It's strange. Talking is strange. Still, she manages to utter a handful of words. "I'm not," she insists to anyone who will listen. There's a fire in her voice that's more reminiscent of the girl that she used to to be. "I'm not a traitor. I'm ."